How Women Are Being Robbed of their Self-Image: A Call to Action from ICJW President Leah Aharonov
When asked in surveys who they aspire to be, most teenage girls ignore the real women around them and name fashion models and other vacuous celebrities, whose looks and lifestyles are unrealistic, unattainable and, in many cases, entirely manufactured. Encouraged by media hype, they are chasing an unhealthy mirage that will only leave them feeling unfulfilled. While young women continue to define themselves and their self-worth by such superficial standards, their focus on external qualities leaves them with a weak and unhealthy self-image.
It seems that the barrage of incessant messages and images from advertisers promising perfect beauty in that next jar of magic cream have brainwashed us into chasing a dream. The promise of perfect beauty offers women the possibility of a perfect life. If we only looked like her, used a certain product, dressed a certain way, or achieved a certain weight, happiness would be ours. This is undermining women’s self-worth and distorting the self-image of our future generations.
Have women achieved gender equality only to subject themselves to the dictatorial ideal of an elusive physical perfection? Can we afford to agree to live with a feeling of constant inadequacy and inferiority? Shouldn’t we challenge the powerful commercial and economic interests behind the fashion, cosmetics, diet, advertising and media conglomerates? Is it so radical to say that women and girls should be celebrated for who they are and not how they look?
Judaism offers quite different role models for women - the matriarchs and female leaders of Biblical times, the ‘Woman of Worth’ idealized in Proverbs, and the great pioneering Jewish women of the last century. Today, while there are many great women who are working hard in our communities, they often do not receive the recognition that they deserve.
The status of mothers, teachers, nurses and other ‘giving’ professions is constantly undermined. The reluctance of many young women to get involved in Jewish community organizations can also be attributed to the lack of status and respect that such positions are given. A society that values dedication, involvement, volunteering, and altruism will teach its daughters (and sons) to aspire to those ideals, but a society that values money, glamour and fame will find itself led by those who seek power and glory.
Some ICJW affiliates are running grassroots programs to encourage girls to refocus their priorities, challenge the images with which they are presented, and become their own advocates for change. But leadership on this issue also has to come from the top. Jewish organizations should be encouraging young women to contribute to society, to express themselves and to develop their talents in community life. Every Jewish woman who has advanced even one rung in her career should be extending a hand to offer support to someone on a lower rung.
Everyone can be a role model to someone younger, and can help them redefine who and what they aspire to be--according to our values and not those of Madison Avenue. As mothers and grandmothers, we need to open discussions with young people as to who our role models are, whether they are real, and for what reasons we admire them. We need to show them that beauty is an internal quality and not an external mask. As a community, we should be educating women to take a critical view of the media and its messages and raising the issue of self-image as a topic of public debate in the Jewish arena. Let’s stop chasing the mirage and get back to reality.
